My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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