No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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