I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
