You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
