pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She needs sedatives and a leash
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
