I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
