too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
