Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
