I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
