Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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