that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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