I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Randomize
