That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
