Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
