you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
