I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
