Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
