Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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