Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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