I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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