I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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