period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize