and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
