after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
