I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
