so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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