ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
