The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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