he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize