East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
