Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
