Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
