So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
