she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
