Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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