wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
