They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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