People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
