WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
