he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
