I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
