I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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