Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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