would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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