peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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