At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
