There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
