If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
