We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
