So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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