Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
