Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I touched a dick in church today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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