The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
