1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
