Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
