So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
