We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You need a sexual gate keeper
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
