either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
