hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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